Tuesday, June 24, 2008






(thanks john's night of the living dead page!)


Thursday, June 05, 2008

further thoughts on eaten alive.

i can watch tobe hooper's eaten alive any number of times. texas chainsaw is diurnal, stark raving adrenalized panic. eaten alive is its lunar shadow::voracious and reptilian! it is slithery and interior and lush and technicolor and shadowy. murmury and frequently unaudible; sideways motion. even though the plot is all like hey people get slaughtered and eaten by a thoroughly deranged hotel clerk. what is awesome about tobe hooper's main characters is that their madness is beyond opaque. as if even if you spend a lot of time with it in the same room which could be days or months same result a vast and bottomless pool of crazy. paced like what happens when you pour syrup onto a surface and several rivulents take a long time to get nowheresish. it is not a long movie. it is thick as treacle. psychedelic treacle made out of rotgut and gut rot and whatever brightly colored mold we have here instead of walls. confederacy in the name of cthulhu unawares and for kicks. the scythe is also a moon shape.
signed off::::: love, me.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

[[[PS: investigation tells me that somebody else had nearly the exact same blog post back in nov. 2007. i checked because i found it unlikely that no one would have made this connection other than me. i defer to jellyjules.com

here is my original unoriginal post:

unsuprisingly for dear readers of my increasingly atavistic blog, i am not voting for barack obama. if why is an important question to you the answer is that he is just like chuck d.'s ll rip from "kool thing" and in fact if sonic youth can do a tunic makeover for the 21st century, surely they can actually invite barack to be interviewed by kim gordon over ciccone youth-style beats/noise, right?
kg: "are you gonna liberate us (grrls) from male white corporate oppression?"
bo: "tell it like it is"
kg: "huh?"
bo: "yeah!"
kg: "oh, don't be shy"
bo: "word up!"
kg: "fear of a noncorporatist planet"
bo: "purple, baby! red, blue, purple baby!"
kg: "i just want you to know we can still be friends"
bo: "let everybody know!"

i don't wanna.
i don't think so.

love, me.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

the difference between the tobe hooper's texas chainsaw massacre (1974) and his very next film, eaten alive (1977) , is not only three years but also that of waking up on the hottest day of the year plus eating a kilogram of mescaline whilst venturing out of doors in a borrowed gremlin with no brakes or air conditioner and that of languorously and recreationally falling down some nontreacherous but lengthy series of stairs as a direct result of 'too much' purple drank. you need both and probably right away, knowing you. love! me.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

the cheapest, safest and best synthetic hallucinogen available right now!!! = speed racer!!!!!! see this movie in theatres whilst you can as i don't think even if kenneth anger put something in italian futurisms drink to facilitate a three-way with tron would it be fit to wipe the mud off the non-yosemite mudflaps of speed racer. a nearly unparallelled work of information-dense cinematic vision::::speed racer! go!!!!! love, me.

Friday, April 25, 2008

the following is what is now an i guess open letter to eli roth. i think hostel pts. 1 and 2 together may be very well be the greatest american film of the past decade. i feel they are deeply important, deeply moral films about the distinction between person-and-object-hood or being and being-for and the corrosive slippage of exchage/use-value. moreover, they are warm and inviting movies; carefully planned out and interconnected: an entire world is built that can be explored from many angles. mostly, though, they are great because eli roth really really really and truly loves horror movies and that love is evident in all of his actions. when i come across a director like that i just seize upon them! joe lynch in wrong turn 2 is another good example. word up rob zombie! these people love horror and that is why they make movies. not for any cynical purpose (like the wretchedly vomitous mishandling and mismarketing of captivity by its producers!), not for money, not for glory. hostel 2 did not do all that well at the box office compared to the first and so we now have a plague of eviscerated pg-13-rated horror-lite remakes upon us. i do not mind them, but if they exclude real, original hardcore horror from the cinema i will be upset. mostly i just wanted to write a letter that would cheer him up or possibly restore flagging faith in audienceship. there is so much negative feedback online that i wanted to do the opposite. i even joined myspace to send him this letter and i do not like myspace. however, i am not his friend so i can't send it to him. therefore i will post it so all my friends can read it and probably not eli roth.

text of letter:

dear eli roth: i wanted to write you a letter and i could find no other way to do it other than joining myspace. listen: i too was that guy in 1987 gleefully clutching his reanimator videocassette. i taped mine off of hbo and i think i also had one with the fly/aliens which was a pretty good double feature. i watched reanimator so many times alone in the dark i worried my mom. things have not at all changed 20 years later. i love horror movies. i love them with all of my heart. nothing makes me happier than to sit at home in the dark and other watch imaginary people's worst day ever unfold. i spent the last week with a nasty bacterial infection(!)and watched cabin fever and the two hostel movies again. i have to tell you: when people look back on this decade i think hostel pts. 1 and 2 will be the defining film of our time in the same way i think near-ambient doom metal is the sound of our time. the sound of everything getting medieval on our asses. i believe hostel is a courageous, deeply moral film. one that repays close, repeat viewings. horror is the filmic vocabulary best suited to our era. that or the western which is why no country for old men is so damn good. its both. i was one of the people who gladly paid to see hostel pt. 2 in the theatre and i wish i had gone more than once. don't ever give up. keep making the movies you want to see because i want to see those movies too. more than that, they make me feel better. i am more okay with having spent a lifetime watching stuff like this than i ever would have been without it. watching your movies makes me excited about the future because you get it, you really get it. nothing in the world makes me happier than when someone really understands. don't give that up for anything eli roth!!! don't! just don't! don't don't don't! thank you for reading this far in unsolicited fan mail. and thanks for the movies!!!! listen if your life's work up until this point is all you ever do, i could not complain, as it just seriously kicks ass, but please for yog-sothoth's sake make more!!! more!!!!! more!!!!!

nathan walker.


end text of letter.

still a proudly geeky fanboy. love, me.

ps: his pg-13 sci-fi destructo-swarm-bot movie will rip too.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

this has been quite a week for the forces of light and goodness in the florida house of representatives! first, they banned saliva. now, rep. ed bullard of miami would like our fair state to offer a xtian license plate with a giant raised honking cross to the left side and the words "i believe" under it. the argument for went something like "if people can belive in their local football organizations, why not jesus!". while the associated press article does worry that there would probably be an aclu legal challenge and that then atheists would whine and want their own "i don't believe" plate, i wholeheartedly welcome this license plate because a) i want florida to keep its status as the state with the very most custom license plates as a voluntary revenue flood which works good and b) this will clear the path to my eventual proposal of the florida state license plate: "our death metal heritage" which will feature an extreme close up of the inverted cross burned into glen benton's forehead. we will have the plate painted by dan seagrave and we will make all of the numbers and letters interconnected and nearly illegible and then our motto can be something like "florida: grrrraauugghhhhhhchhhaaarrrrrrhcrhwarrhhhhrhhrhhh". i propose we get right on this! i love you florida!!!! love you!!!! love me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dancing to meshuggah is like mechanical bulls for caterpillars.